So… I know I have not been blogging as much lately and I apologize greatly, as school and life have gotten in the way a little more than I had expected. A lot has happened between now and the last time that I blogged… Since my last post, about one of my good friends passing away, and this one, I have been trying to improve upon myself.
Just about a week ago, somebody personally reached out to me saying that they are lonely and unhappy, and then asked me how I am happy when I don't have a “significant other” in my life. I don't believe that having another person in your life of the opposite sex is there to define your happiness. Honestly, I personally believe that it is just a piece of us. I DO know that we must be happy with ourselves and then from there, the person we find is the person who helps us grow to love ourselves {rather than just like ourselves}. I also know that I am SUPER hypocritical when it comes to this topic, because I too get upset and moments and think that I need a guy in my life to make me happy… especially this time of year {which I just learned is known as “CUFFING SEASON”}.
Like a lot of the world, I am a girl. I catch myself body shaming my own body, which I should be thankful I even have. I complain about how there are so many things that I want to do, which I should be thankful for the opportunities I have be able to do. I have high expectations when it comes to school, life, and boys. I think {and I hope} that when the time is right, somebody will walk into our lives. A person who will complete us: emotionally, physically, and mentally. I believe that there are moments that it is hard cause we are constantly reminded we are alone… the majority of my friends have boyfriends, and sometimes they only turn to me when their boyfriends are not physically there OR are unavailable. Sometimes I feel as though I am a second option, and that is NOT how it should be. We are reminded through the pictures people post on social medias, the status updates people post with “their loves,” and through the movies.
I believe that we are still learning from the experiences around us, and those experiences are what shape who we are… they are a part of us. We see how crappy guys treat other girls and how girls are so easily manipulated to fall back into their arms. We see the way that good guys treat girls {even those awkward and unexpected couples}. ACTUALLY taking girls on dates and asking them to do fun things {not just by “sliding in the DMs”}. Guys taking care of their girlfriends when they are sick. Guys delivering flowers to their girls just for the hell of it. We tend to base our happiness and compare it to those happier around us.
Personally, by having this quick break at home, I have been able to reflect a lot on my life and think about what truly makes me happy and how thankful I am to this date. I think how blessed I am to go to such an amazing university, while there are other people in the word struggling to receive an education. I know that in three weeks I will be back home in California and my time between now and then is so crammed with activity, studying, and planning. When I get back to California, it is then that I will be preparing for the next chapter of my life. I will begin my packing to study abroad in Madrid, Spain. I applied not knowing anybody going, and it is my turn to take a leap of faith. It is my turn to focus on me and stop worrying about all of those people around me.
I think happiness is based on a lot of things. When we are with our families, we feel complete. When we are with our best friends, we feel complete. But, it is when we are really truly by ourselves we start to overthink things. We begin to think about those who have boyfriends and girlfriends around us, those who have someone to always lean on, someone to always count on for a pick me up, and someone who will be willing to be there for both the tears and the laughter. It is then we start comparing ourselves to others and we start to believe we too need a boy. It is not the end of the world to be lonely. We all have feelings, and we all like to feel.
Lets begin by being happy with ourselves. Lets continue to love on ourselves and journey to discover new things that make us happy.
